Verses of Emotion
by EmotionalRockfish
Summary: A series of sometimes short and sometimes long verses based on the inner thoughts and desperate emotions of Gaara, as well as his obsession with two certain leaf ninjas. Updated every other day. [LEEGAA/GAALEE] [NARUGAA/GAANARU]
1. Verse 1 - Realizations of Love

**~Verses of Emotion~**

**A story by Emotional Rockfish**

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**-Story** **Details-**

**_Rating_**_: M__  
_**_Warnings: _**_Smut and distressing concepts that might be considered deranged to normal people who, you know, aren't Gaara.  
**Pairing: **One-sided LeeGaa/GaaLee and NaruGaa/GaaNaru, though it may eventually become LeeGaa/GaaLee.  
**Description: **A series of sometimes short and sometimes long verses based on the inner thoughts and desperate emotions of Gaara, as well as his obsession with two leaf ninjas._  
**_Date Published: _**_10/5/2013  
**Date Last Updated: **25/5/2013_

_Author's Comments: __This is a series of occasionally both small and large verses about Gaara's inner thoughts. I thought writing in an almost poetic way was the best possible way to portray my feelings on Gaara's relationships with Naruto and Lee, and the more of these I write, the more I see that I can finally express how desperate and longing Gaara is. I've been wanting to write something like this for a while now, and this is the best format. From this point on there will be no more Author comments unless absolutely needed, so it does not disrupt the flow._

**_Note: I finally got my muse back and decided to actually make these decent._**

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**-Verse 1 - Realizations of Love-**

Gaara is terribly in love.

Some might call it mere infatuation, merely an unhealthy obsession, a fascination of sorts, but he knows far better than his unknowledgeable siblings who claim such nonsense.

It is all of those desires, those things, combined, and most of all, it is pure untainted love.

He knows, because he has felt it numerous times before.

Maybe not as strongly, not as completely overwhelmingly as he is feeling it now, but Gaara can recognize the painful and dull ache in his beating heart and relate it the faint emotions he has felt in the past. And he realizes he fears the horrid emotion that is etched onto his very own forehead, the emotion that has caused him so much pain.

He fears it because he knows that it never ends well.

He fear love because every time the emotion has clawed into his mind, his heart and every other part of his being, it has disappeared as fleetingly as it had come.

He fears it because all those that he has ever loved, that have ever loved him, are buried six feet under and slowly rotting, their corpses decaying in the sandy earth, all dead and lifeless solely because of him.

To Gaara, love is a curse.

And no matter what his uncle once said, there is no medicine strong enough to heal his scared and broken heart.

Not when this curse has plagued him his entire life.

A horrible curse that makes him fixate over people, that makes him protect them, that makes him want to shower them in gifts and hold them tightly in his arms in hopes of being held himself, of being given gifts in return, and of course, maybe being loved himself.

But it is a curse that is so overpoweringly powerful, confusing and volatile, that it also makes him want to kill those who made him suffer this way. To kill all that have made him feel like he can no longer make sense of the world anymore, because quite frankly, that is how he really does feel.

But he would never lay his soft porcelain and unscarred hands on his loves, hands that, despite their appearance, have been soaked in blood numerous times. How deceiving they are.

To hurt those he finds precious would be against everything he knows to be right, he has enough sanity remaining to still comprehend that.

But that small ounce of sanity that he does have is slipping away. Confusion and puzzlement, the fact that he is not in control like he usually is, it never really was at all good for the Kazekage.

Perhaps someone should have killed him before his feeble mind began to ever cling to someone so desperately. It surely would have saved him the trouble he is going through now.

His mind, it swirls with thoughts about **them**. Those two ever happy leaf ninjas that he holds so dear and close in his heart. His own subconscious is working against him, though he never recall ever having one previously. It refuses to relent with its constant low whispers about how endearingly adorable he would look holding hands with one, or similarly, how pleasantly nice it would be to kiss the other. Whirling and twirling thoughts, emotions and other things that bewilder him; they all keep whirling and twirling as they have been doing for months now, speeding up and gaining momentum, but yet, never stopping.

It will never stop that easily.

One would think it maddening, the endless turmoil and confusion in the red head's mind, but Gaara is relatively used to such madness. He did used to have a demon inside of him, and though his brain's current frenzy is reminiscent of what he has previously felt with the Shukaku gnawing at his mind, the torment is far, far worse.

But Gaara would not trade it for the world. He would never once ask it to stop, no matter how maddening, how tormenting.

Because he is in love, and love does not stop that easily.

Not unless death once again captures those he considers precious. But whether or not he has a helping hand in that, he will decide another day.


	2. Verse 2 - Daydreams

**-Verse 2 – Daydreams-**

Gaara can not work.

No matter how hard he tries, he fails to even start his daily office duties. Distractions distract, and diversions divert, until the uneasy boy find himself terribly sidetracked. Even the mere thought of tedious office tasks and bothersome paperwork make him cringe in blatant abhorrence.

He knows it is his duty as Kazekage, he knows that someone must do it, he just wishes that it was not him.

Fidgeting, squirming, and restlessly wriggling about in his large office chair, he hopes beyond hope that this exasperating torment will end. There is only so much agony the mighty Kazekage can handle, and this far exceeds what he is used to. To put pen to paper is akin to asking for death. The innocent sheet of paper laying quaintly on his desk is torturing him, and as he attempts to labour and write, over and over again, his unfocused mind always seems to drift elsewhere instantly.

At some point he will inevitably deem that he no longer cares, and allow his woozy mind to wonder and play all it likes. But that is surely not now.

Responsibly is a key factor of being Kazekage, and without such a thing, the village would be in ruins.

But then again, does he really care about this village? The village that despised him so, that alienated him, sealed a demon within him, and now, has the guts to elect him as Kazekage and force him to be locked in a tower all day. Perhaps it was all part of their plan, to keep him well away from the community where he can not hurt anyone.

Gaara realizes just how akin his current superstition is to that of the tale of Repunzel, the princess locked away from the world. Except the red head knows no prince will come to save him from his tedious life that is merely being the Kazekage of a village.

How he wishes one would though.

There is again, daydreaming as if his thoughts could become reality. If that was true, Shukaku would have gotten his way years ago.

Gaara has heard that demons wishes, it's dreams, and quite frankly he is glad that was all they were.

Taking a stab at working again, the Kazekage groans in annoyance. He picks up a pen, but his hand will not do much in the way of writing, it is as if it refuses.

Gaara tries, he tries so desperately to finish at fill out at least one form, but it is useless. So much as even looking at his assigned paperwork is too much. Not when his mind is so vague, so fuzzy, and so undoubtedly unfocused.

The sandman has never once dreamt in his entire life, having never been able to escape to what most describe as slumber. All he is familiar with is nightmares, and what state of rest he currently achieves surely cannot be called sleep. Gaara wonders if this is even slightly what dreaming feels like, as he lets his mind fill with delusions. He knows that never in his whole sleep deprived life will he accomplish such a state so pleasant. He knows this is the closest he will ever come to such ecstasy.

And as delightful illusions fill his mind, daydreams and things of his minds own creation, the fire headed boy can not help but smile blissfully to himself.

Gaara dreams about Lee.

He dreams about what it would be like to hold, to cling, to that man. To kiss him, to cherish him, and to be cherished and smothered in kisses in return. How he longs for it. How he longs for Lee to be the prince to save him from his horrid loveless nightmare.

Gaara dreams about Naruto.

He dreams about the life he could have with him, the happiness the whiskered boy would bring to his life, and how much he adores him so. He doubts the shinobi even knows what paperwork is, how lucky he is.

But they are mere daydreams and illusions, fantasies that will never be fulfilled, and he knows this. How he knows this. And every time he is brought back to reality, every single time he snaps back, he realizes this once more and sighs in awful depression and sadness.

One day he will have no need for silly dreams about love.

Because once he has what he so urgently longs for, his life will be as pleasant as the bliss filled dreams his mind conjures up.

**There is no need to dream, when your life is a dream**.


	3. Verse 3 - Longing

**-Verse 3 – Longing-**

Gaara has finally made up his twisted, dark and previously unsure mind.

He can no longer be so very far apart from the precious and cherished people that he adores so greatly with all the love his beating heart can give. It hurts him dreadfully to be so alone when he knows that he can be with** them** instead. But no, he is stuck residing in the sand village, forlorn and so very far away from those that he loves dearly. And it hurts. It hurts so very much.

So instead of hurting from the bitter and desperate loneliness, he has decided to go to where his loves dwell.

In Konoha, where the green trees grow and the grass is long and fresh.

Not like in Suna. In Suna there is no grass, no trees, just their remains. Dead decaying branches lay on the sandy barren ground, the leafless remnants of trees swaying in the wind. The only green in the desert is that of the pointy and unsightly cacti. And even those are not as beautiful as anything in Konoha.

The land of wind is a barren wasteland, but that of fire is striking and full of life, just like the people that reside there.

Just like Lee and Naruto.

And so he departs, not a word to anyone, the duo he loves the only thing on his twisted and dark mind.


	4. Verse 4 - Beauty in a Smile

**-Verse 4 – Bea****uty in a Smile-**

To Gaara, happiness is the very meaning of the word beauty. To him, even a smiling face is gorgeous.

And under that same unique logic, the grinning leaf ninja before him must be the most attractive thing he has ever set his black rimmed eyes on. And he is. He really is.

Even Lee's eyes, those pitch black ebony orbs, are filled to the brim with pure joy. So much joy that Gaara wants to rejoice too, and soon enough, he find that he can not help smiling back minutely.

For he was the one who caused that smile.

Gaara didn't know he could ever make something that beautiful appear on someone's face, but he has, and it takes him aback greatly in surprise. So much so that it takes him a moment to realize exactly what has happened next.

With a sudden tight embrace, the taijutsu master greets him enthusiastically, with the energy of a million suns. The red head tenses up instinctively, his body screaming to be let go. But part of him seemingly enjoys it. The same twisted part that wants that boy to be his and his alone. The same part that wishes to lay claim to him and be the only one he ever hugs again.

Before he knows it, Lee has let go and is now dragging him along the streets. To where, he is unsure, his mind solely focused on the calloused hand clasping his own. It does not matter, for as long as he is with Lee, he is content that it will be like heaven.

All he knows is they are alone, walking together, and no one can get in the way of their time together.

A thousand quick nonsensical words spew from the green beast's mouth, and not even one manages to reach Gaara's ears. He is far too absorbed in other aspects of the boy pulling him along.

They stop at an eatery, the smell of spices filling the air. Gaara has absolutely no idea as to why; he hadn't been listening to the excessive explanation given on the way. When he looks around and asks dumbly why he has been taken there, Lee replies with another nonsensical rambling. This time the Kazekage listens, and as he deciphers the cryptic shouts, he finds the underlying cause to be concern.

"You have come such a long way, Kazekage-sama, and by yourself too!" Lee says with a smile, tugging the red head inside the shop, "Surely you have used up all your youthful energy! It is the least I can do for you to treat you to the most delicious food in the entire shinobi world, curry! I promise you will be full of energy again once you have tried some!"

It is obvious that the leaf ninja is worried. So very worried. Gaara wants to tell him that he is fine. Wants to tell him that his concern is not necessary, but a part of him desperately longs for this.

No one has ever worried about him, not over something so trivial.

No one has ever bought him food, treated him like he deserves it.

No one ever thought it necessary, but Lee does, and Gaara is thankful that someone finally cares about him.

And as they eat together, Lee talking with mouthfuls of the spiciest curry on offer, and Gaara reluctantly poking at his own plate in silence, the red head imagines it is a date, and the leaf ninja, as oblivious as he is, merely believes that he is offering kindness to his dear friend.

He does not notice the way Gaara scrunches up his face when he addresses him as Kazekage-sama, the way he calls him Lee-kun without any hesitation and the way he glares at the waiter whenever he comes near.

And he does not notice the way Gaara smiles at him, however minutely, the way he flutters his long black eyelashes and the way sits as closely as possible, his body practically against Lee's.

No, Lee is oblivious, and that is the worst part of it all.


	5. Verse 5 - Ramen

**-Verse 5 – Ramen-**

He sits quietly, waiting at the ramen shop the other frequents often.

He does not bothering to even order food, just waiting, silently and without a single word of explanation to the owner of the small eatery. The elderly man seems overly suspicious of the red headed man seated before him, but Gaara is not in the least concerned. The man will not kick him out, he should know who he is and that should be reason enough. Oh, he would not dare kick the mighty Kazekage out. No one would even thing of such a thing.

Gaara sighs. He does not know when the one he is waiting for will come.

But he knows he will, because he does every single day.

Maybe the boy has already come here today? Gaara considers it to be a possibility. Maybe he is on a mission? Gaara certainly knows that is not true. While he has not seen Naruto at all since his arrival yesterday, from his conversation with Lee, it seems the blond is indeed in the village. If he wasn't, Gaara would curse his horrible timing.

Deciding that his time is short, Gaara finally takes action.

He looks up from the ground suddenly and asks the owner if the Uzumaki has been here yet, the first words he has said all day, and after an initially surprised response from the man, he answers with a short and simple no, and nothing more.

At least that means he has not missed him. He is sure to come soon, Gaara hopes. He just has to; after all, the red head cannot wait forever. But he knows that is not true. He would spend the rest of his life waiting if it meant seeing the one he loves so dearly for even just a second. That is how much he longs to see the loudmouthed blond, so much so that he is willing to waste his day in waiting.

Minutes pass, but Gaara stays. He would leave, out of simple irritation, but he knows Naruto will come soon, and he may miss him even if he leaves briefly for just a second. He would leave if it were not Naruto, oh; he would have left ages ago if it was not Naruto he was waiting for. Or Lee. Gaara could wait an eternity and more the for two of them.

Hours pass, but still Gaara waits. Without a word, the owner has set down a bowl of ramen for the red head to eat, but he has not touched it. He is too preoccupied with his thoughts to even notice it there. What if Naruto never comes and he is stuck waiting forever?

The sand ninja sighs again. He would like to wait forever, but the store will close eventually, and then he will be forced to leaf, Kage or not.

It is then that he perks up, a familiar chirpy and annoying voice penetrating his ears painfully.

Gaara spins around on the chair with new energy, determined to seek out his friend. Poking his head out of the shop's entrance and surrounding flaps, he hides himself as he watches the one he loves converse with another.

The detested Uchiha boy.

The one that abandoned the village, killed his own brother, and not to mention, had the whole leaf village, lead by Naruto's bond with the boy, chasing after him like foolish idiots.

Gaara still doesn't fully understand how he was accepted back so easily. After all he did, all the innocents he killed, he deserves to be a criminal still. The irritating Uchiha should have been killed years ago; at least in Gaara's opinion. He put his Naruto in pain, and that is what annoys him most.

Naruto eventually waves goodbye enthusiastically to the raven haired ninja, and Gaara finds himself glaring at the one receiving so much attention, not noticing when the blond approaches the ramen shop and sees him there.

"Eh, Gaara-kun!?" The Hokage scratches his head in puzzlement, only to make the red head jump slightly out of shock and look up at him with his own questioning gaze.  
"Yes, Hokage-dono…?" Gaara asks softly, a false smile on his features as he attempts to be as polite as he can possibly be to his fellow Kage and cover up his previous display.  
"Watcha doing at Ichraku's..?" Naruto asks dumbly, as if it is not every day that the Kazekage decides to go to a restaurant in Konoha.

But actually it isn't, so Gaara thinks that Naruto is justified in asking. He still doesn't give an answer though.

Gaara shakes his head furiously, as if shaking his thoughts away, before patting the empty stool beside him. He hopes his outing with the Uzumaki will go better than the one he had with Lee. He didn't make any progress with that one.

Before they can even begin conversing and catching up with each other, the blond stares at the bowl of ramen before Gaara and asks him why he hasn't so much as even touched it. Gaara just shrugs, watching as Naruto orders his own ramen, his loud voice booming at the young women taking his order, who smiles with a sense of familiarity at the boy.

Gaara feels jealousy erupt, and wants to crush her. Crush all of her bones into a white powdery mix, smothered in blood and organs. Oh how he wants to crush that girl.

And he is instantly ashamed of himself for such a horrible thought.

He lets the sudden emotion leave before he looks up at the blond once again, who seems to have begun raving on about the Uchiha whilst the red head was not paying attention.

Gaara wishes he would shut up.

Gaara also wishes that he would talk about him that way.

Naruto keeps talking and the red head keeps nodding in acknowledgment, before finally deciding to say something of his own.

He asks Naruto why he cares about Sasuke so much, hoping that maybe it will help him figure out why no one cares about him. All he gets is another rant about the raven and his supposed bond with him.

Gaara really wishes he would shut up now.

He asks Naruto, as bluntly as he can, if he cares about him at all. The blond is silent for a little bit, recognising the look in the sand ninjas eyes to be dejection, before giving him a hearty pat on the back and attempting to comfort him.

Somehow even that turns into a conversation about Sasuke.

And right in that moment, the Kazekage stands up and proceeds to leave, not caring about the shocked boy left in his trail. He knows full well that this outing makes his failed date with Lee so much more pleasant. In comparison it was even nice.

Gaara thinks he will stick with seducing Lee from now on. At least he seems to appreciate the red head.


End file.
